Monday, June 29, 2009

On Hatred

Dear Kids, yesterday, your Mom saw me watching the MTV of "Thriller." She asked me if I felt any sadness when I heard him (the popstar) pass away a few days ago on the same day Farah Fawcett died. I said "No". I thought to myself that I already considered him Dead years ago, when he started to mutilate the color of his skin and african american facial features with surgical procedures (Such action belies his sickening contempt for being black, a display of disrespect for his heritage). It was compounded by reports that he was a pedophile.

From some dark corner of my mind one verse in the bible popped out- The line that says to hate anyone is to murder him (I'm paraphrasing here.) IT gave me chills to realize how true that is. The day I hated Mr. Jackson was the day I considered him dead. That's why when I heard him really die, it was already old news to me. Ancient. It was like hearing the news that Jack the ripper is already dead.

I am so heartless. Cold. Only God knows what lies in the Human Heart. Yesterday, I had a glimpse of how dark mine is. When I hate, or When I burn bridges, I let that person leave my life and considered dead.

That scared the shit out of me. Hatred is not just a sin. Hatred is a curse. If I am capable of considering somebody like Jackson as long Dead because my hatred made him so, then my hatred for those people who slighted me in the past is exceedingly greater. I am not scared of ghosts. I don't believe they exist. But I am scared of hatred. I know it exists.

Create in me a clean heart oh God
Let me be like you in all my ways
Give me your strength, teach me your psalm
Shelter me in the shadow of your wings
For we are your righteousness
If we die to ourselves and live through your death
Then we shall be greatly blessed in your love...

(lyrics of a Song I memorized by rote a long time ago)


bing said...

I pray that understanding and love will fill your heart always... i know it is not as easy to write than to do it because there are people who can really get into our nerves.

MJ's desire to be white may have a reason like the one here.

Anonymous said...

i love to hate LOL sa ngayon nga eh mainit ang mata ko kaya nasstress ako lagi. doc pag nagkacancer ako sagot mo ko ha? LOL

your entry about paper cranes was lovely. thank you so much for sharing it.

atticus said...

pre, huwag kasing masyadong galit sa bading o sa eccentric. getsing?

parang ako iyong dini-describe ko sa itaas ah. hahaha!

yep, huwag na galit. kanya-kanyang ka-weirduhan lang tayo.

Anonymous said...

hmm. di ba may sakit sya na vitiligo, and yun ang cause ng change in color nya? tapos he broke his nose once, that's why he had procedures done on it.

Anonymous said...

si scout finch pala ito. ano ba to, nahihirapan ako mag-comment. proxy lang kasi gamit ko.

anyway, iw rote about MJ here:

Letters to my kids about their childhood adventures

To Sage, Sabe, Sade & 3Stan

To Sage, Sabe, Sade & 3Stan