UNjollybee

Dear Sage, Last night while you were watching TV I took a nap. It did not last. Few minutes later I heard you cry out in pain. That was unusual. You cry when you have tantrums but when you are in pain you hardly do so because I noticed that your tolerance is quite high. (Your Mom and I realized that when we give you your vaccination shots. You actually look forward to them. When you had an infection instead of giving you medicines to drink, you preferred that they be given as injections into your thighs)

Anyway, at first your Lola and I were confused. You held up your hand and on the lateral aspect of your Left middle finger we thought there was a small, linear laceration. Although it was not bleeding the line had a dark color. We thought it was caused by a rodent but you insisted that it was an insect. We put ice on your hand. That calmed you down a bit when you felt its coolness. I looked for the insect under the bed. At first I couldn't figure out what it was because it was about a yard away from the edge. All I could see was that it had moving legs. When I used the broom to push it from the dark belly of the bed into the light, I saw that it was just a small bee with vestiges of wings sprouting out of it's back. No wonder it caused you so much pain. And the linear bite mark? it turned out to be the sting. I had to remove it with a pair of tweezers.

I crushed the bee underneath the rug. Well, it was dying anyway.

Explaining judas

Dear Sage, I saw the Nat Geo special on this subject last night. It was obviously a spoof written by wisecracks more than a millenia ago. I think it proves one thing: There are people back in the 2nd century who could've been great scriptwriters of "South Park" and "Saturday Night Live" had they lived in the 20th and 21st centuries.

I can imagine second century christians shaking their heads and smiling as they read those manuscripts the way we laugh at Michael V.'s corniness.

It actually reminded me of this medical advice spoof. Just like the judas "Gospel" no one would take this one seriously too. But I couldn't stop laughing when I first read it.

Medical advice
>>
>> Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is
this
>>true?
>>
>>A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
>>waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
>>your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
>>extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live
longer?
>>Take a nap.
>>
>>Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
>>
>> A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
>>and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
>>than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
>>Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
>>(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
>>recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
>>
>>Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
>>
>> A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled
wine,
>>that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
>>more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Bottoms
>>up!
>>
>>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
>>
>> A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to
>>one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
>>
>>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
>>exercise program?
>>
>> A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
>>Pain...Good!
>>
>>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
>>
>> A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in
vegetable
>>oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables
>>be bad for you?
>>
>>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
>>middle?
>>
>> A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
>>should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
>>
>>Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
>>
>>A: Are you crazy? HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the
>>best feel-good food around!
>>
>>Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
>>
>> A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
>>
>>Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
>>
>> A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
>>
>>Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
>>about food and diets.

LET'S WATCH DA VINCI MOVIE

Dear Kids, I wish I could watch the TOM HANKS movie with you someday. I heard the adaptation was faithful to the book. I read the book last year and wasn't able to put it down (practically) until I've read through it. Just remember this...

It's just fiction.

He IS Risen!

Dear Kids, Happy Easter! Ate Sage just finished with the Easter Egg hunt. She woke up at 4:30 and didn't want to sleep anymore. When we got back you guys played with the Rabbits. You let them loose in the living room downstairs. But we had to put them right back their cages because Sabine keeps on picking them up by their necks, we're worried she might drop them. Sabine cried but not a lot. Fortunately a Taho vendor passed by just in time to pacify her with a cup. Right now you are enjoying a sing-a-long of disney tunes with your friends, JM and Bianca. You guys don't seem to mind that the microphone isn't working. Sadie was downstairs with baby Brian (Bianca's brother). Your Mommy just brought her upstairs and put her in her crib. I think she loves seeing your faces around her. But the day isn't over yet! Ate Sage is looking forward to the Egg Painting contest this afternoon at 2:00 PM with JM.

Years from now, with the advent of gnostic thoughts and secular snobbery of Easter, philosophers (also called "stand up comics") might ask you guys what proof you have that Christ rose from the dead. Just smile at them. People only ask those weird questions because they have forgotten the lovely time they spent with their friends and loved ones so many Easters ago. But if they insist, tell them the answer lies within. And remind them that FAITH, unlike Science, requires NO PROOF. Because if you do have physical proof, it's no longer faith.

Christ IS Risen! Thank you Dear God for your Love and Mercy.

Metaphor

Dear Sage, The following prose is a metaphor, no doubt an imperfect one, of the first Good Friday...

"There is a legend about a bird which sings just once in its life, more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth. Upon leaving its nest, it searches for a thorn tree and does not rest until it has found one. Then, singing among the savage branches, it impales itself upon the longest, sharpest spine. And dying it rises above its own agony to out carol the lark and the nightingale. One superaltive song- existence the price. But the whole world stills to listen. And God in his heaven smiles. For the best is bought only at the cost of great pain... or so, says the legend." -- The Thorn Birds

It was the first page of the book you guys almost ripped apart.

Gospel According to John (McCain)

Dear Sage, I was supposed to make a blog entry against those who are lambasting the National Geographic's decision to broadcast its episode on the "judas gospel." But I decided to be a little charitable. It must be the season.

Through the years, I've learned that the best way to defend your faith is through ACTION- not words of Fear and Hate. Those people who are speaking against National Geographic and Harry Potter in that kind of framework are doing a big disservice to the Lord's Gospel.

There will always be someone whose interpretation of the bible and the events of 2000 years ago will be different from what your pastor or priest is teaching you. But if you want to defend your faith against them, the best course of action you can take is the way of humility and friendship. The best example I can give is the Vietcong mentioned by John McCain in his speech in Virginia Beach back in 2000...

"Many years ago, a scared American prisoner of war in Vietnam was tied in torture robes by his tormenters and left alone in an empty room to suffer through the night. Later in the evening, a guard he had never spoken to entered the room and silently loosened the ropes to relieve his suffering. Just before morning, that same guard came back and re-tightened the ropes before his less humanitarian comrades returned.

He never said a word to the grateful prisoner, but some months later on a Christmas morning as the prisoner stood alone in the prison courtyard, the same Good Samaritan walked up to him and stood next to him for a few moments. Then with his sandal, the guard drew a cross in the dirt. Both prisoner and guard stood wordlessly there for a minute or two venerating the cross until the guard rubbed it out and walked away.

This is my faith, the faith that unites and never divides, the faith that bridges unbridgeable gaps in humanity. That is my religious faith ... It is the faith that we are all equal and endowed by our creator with unalienable rights to life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It is the faith I would die to defend..."

To be continued...

Yummy

Dear Sadie, You and all your sisters were purely breast fed for atleast 6 months. Even when your Mom is away, what you drink from your bottle is breast milk (thawed from its temporary storage from the freezer.) Wherever your Mom goes, she brings with her that ever reliable breast pump so she can pump out the milk which she stores in a plastic bottle liner inside her coleman. Tonight while she's feeding you she sang barney's song

I love you, you love me
where a happy family
with a great big hug
and a kiss from me to you
won't you say you love me too

When your Ate Sage heard her, she joined your mom in serenading you. I followed their lead. I think you enjoyed it since you were smiling and you looked very alert. I think you were trying to figure out through the haze of your 2 month old eyes who we were. Anyway, Ate Sabine was also drinking her milk formula while we were singing (for some reason she has lost the taste for breast milk. Every time we tease her by offering mommy's milk to her she just shakes her head and smiles naughtily)

Your Ate Sabine loves to drink her milk while lying down beside your Mom. She cries "Mimi" when she wants Milk. I can't explain why, but she likes to slip her free hand into your Mom's shirt while holding her milk bottle with the other.

When your Ate Sage was Ate Sabine's age (2 Years old), I remember she was also no longer breast fed. But whenever she likes to drink she doesn't say "Mimi" but the more conventional "Didi". Then she adds the unconventional demand "HOLD IT." meaning she wants to hold your Mom's bossom while she's drinking from a milk bottle. I guess even though they no longer drink breast milk, those are their unique ways of trying to sublimate their need to cling to Mommy Ayheen's milk...

.TK

www.thekidney.tk