Predictions for 2009 (NOT 2010)

Nostradamus was a man who wasn’t able to predict anything about the future. Those who study his

writings can not predict anything accurate enough to be of any use to anyone. His quartrains are good only as propaganda to sell poorly written books, B movies, and pseudo documentaries about the supposed existence of “psychic” powers.

Nostradamus’ writings are also useful to dictators like Hitler.

Before the Nazi invasion of France, Joseph Goebbels,
the chief Hitler propagandist, circulated a lie: he said that based on the predictions of this obscure French Doctor, His boss will succeed in invading the whole world. Those in France who were superstitious enough to believe this lie unwittingly contributed to the capitulation of their country to Hitler. In essence, Nostradamus’ writings not only succeeded in pulling the National IQ of France a few notches lower than before, it also contributed to its temporary defeat by lowering its morale.

The truth is, his writings are so vague, if you are smart enough you can take any of them out of context and make it appear that he was able to predict what you had for breakfast this morning. All you have to do is make a vague connection with what he wrote, and Voila! You can make it appear that Nostradamus was able to foretell, HUNDREDS OF YEAR AGO, that you had hot dog sandwich and brewed coffee while watching CNN.

Because they are so vague, you can connect anything he wrote to anything else that has

happened YESTERDAY
or is happening around you NOW.
But you CAN NOT use his writings to predict what WILL HAPPEN TOMMORROW.

Since Hitler’s time, Nostradamus fans have been studying his quartrains. None of them convincingly warned us about September 11, 2001. The only time they claimed that his quartrains were able to predict the 9-11 tragedy was only on September 12, 2001 (when they started connecting what happened in the immediate past to his vague writings.)



In case you missed what I just said… THEY WERE ABLE TO MAKE THE PREDICTION ONLY AFTER THE DISASTER HAPPENED.

That’s why the study of Nostradamus’ writings is also known as Bovine Eschatology (loosely translated, it means bullshit).

That being said, here are my Top 10 PREDICTIONS for the year 2009!!! (a.k.a. more useless crap) :






10. “PeaceMaker” Obama will launch missile strikes against the moon.

9. Andal Ampatuan,Jr.’s picture will be the MOST WANTED newspaper banner.

8. Cory Aquino’s Bodyguards in active duty will become famous for being INACTIVE.

7. Jinky Pacquiao will want to borrow the Golf Club of Tiger Woods’ WIFE.

6. Price of Cars and real estate will… DIVE… in Marikina and Pasig areas.

5. Obviously, NEW YORK YANKEES will win the 2009 World Series.

4. Year 2009? For Michael Jackson… This is IT.

3. Hayden Kho will show he has a SMALL talent in front of cameras.

2. This Internet RUMOR will gross-out even stomachs of steel:
VICKY BELO sex scandal.


AND MY NUMBER 1 PREDICTION FOR THE YEAR 2009…


1. Even though there are no elections, Filipinos WORLD WIDE will vote for a HERO.

My Predictions for the year 2010?... Come back next year… I’ll write them on December 2010.


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! (hwag mag paloko sa mga manghuhula)