Sunday, April 26, 2009

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Douchebag


EX-CONVICTED RAPIST DANIEL SMITH IS FREE.
I just heard it over the radio.

Hey little danny smith,

I'm sure you are ecstatic to go back to America. But I think you will find our country more accommodating to convicted sex offenders like you. We have such a backward society that our culture is still running on Medieval Aged, Chauvinistic Cruise Control. Which is very much unlike the world you are about to re-enter since it is already living in the age of Equal Rights. Back in the US, people are outraged that Rihanna got verbally abused by Chris Brown. One irate radio caller actually said "will somebody beat up Chris Brown black and blue and get this thing over with..." They may not like you very much once they've read your record that you went to jail and the reason was more serious than verbally abusing a woman. Americans don't look at Sex offenders kindly.

You will surely miss our short term memory as a Filipino people. I'm sure most of us will forget about you in a month.

Your American compatriots on the other hand, look down on convicted rapists with so much contempt. Even those who are only reputed to be rapists. Look at Michael Jackson. Just like what your lawyers reputedly did to the one you allegedly raped, MICHAEL JACKSON'S lawyers reputedly bought the silence of his own victim with cash too. The only difference is he was said to have paid $20,000,00. You on the other hand, reputedly handed your alleged victim a measely $2,000. By the standards of your american compatriots, you are not only a prick, but a CHEAPskate too. That means you actually make MICHAEL JACKSON look good.

It is quite unfortunate that the word EX-CON will always haunt you. This can never be erased from your service record. even if you do find a way to make it go away from your record, everytime a potential date googles your name, she will find your mug shot with the word "RAPE" on it. You will always remind your fellow americans, especially parents of debutantes, this fact: TED BUNDY looked good in person too. They will always see in you a grown man with such a dwarfed dick (they will conclude that You, Little Dicky, were only able to get it up because of the cheering and support you got from your marine buddies, that's why you were able to consumate the molestation of a weak and drunk girl)

No. Sorry, dude. I don't think you can get any dates from the United States until you are practically a 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN. Because maybe the girls by then will take pity on you just like the way they did with the character in that movie.

But while you're waiting for your 40th birthday, better try your luck here in this country, little danny. But since you are not exactly smart enough to get the hang of it in your first few tries (you do need brains to be effective in bed, y'know) maybe you should try getting it on by practicing first. But may I suggest you don't try it on women because the court records showed how inutile you are with their species.

It seems the court records imply that you are not only inadequate in vital measurements, you are also clueless on how to use it...

(ang liit na nga nang sa'yo, hindi mo pa alam kung pano gamitin).

May I suggest you get it on with the likes of BB gandanghari and Boy Abunda first. Who knows, this could be Love at first sight for the both of you.

And it is not advisable to dream about going back to the Marine CORPS. I mean, you are a disgrace in the eyes of those self-respecting grunts-- Not because you paid for sex (most of them did while they were in third world countries too). But you see, little Danny, they don't have any respect for fellow marines who are stupid enough to get caught.

They will tell you in their drunken stupor that just like you they did practically rape and pillaged in their time. BUT unlike you they were not stupid or UNLUCKY enough to get caught.

You on the other hand not only went to jail but you also had your Mug Shot shown on CNN. You single handedly endangered the continuing presence of the US Marine Corps in this country, the preferred R&R destination since the era of Cubi Point.

You, Little Danny, and your stupidity got the whole US ARMY in trouble. The members of the marine corps will shun you like a pariah. Nobody in the army would want somebody with your kind of Bad Luck. It's the kind that rubs off on other grunts. Very contagious.

Going back to the United States isn't the end of your troubles, Little danny. Pretty soon, very soon, you will miss the good ol' Philippine Islands. Hell, you will be begging to leave the US for your little hole in the US embassy.

The song below, I'm sure it was made with somebody like you in mind, Little Danny. Once the women there learned what you did to another one of their kind, you will hear them sing this song to you. Again. and Again. and Again.

So better get used to it, little dick.



Sunday, April 19, 2009

Summer of '69


Dear Sabine, a couple of days ago you sat beside me in the car. I decided to turn the radio on and listen to the only frequency that broadcasts classical music. You looked at the radio then told me "this is making me sleepy." Then you requested to listen to another song. You asked that I play Bryan Adam's Summer of 69. Which makes sense. afterall it's summer. but don't get me wrong. You Love Little Einsteins and that series concentrates on making kids appreciate the classics.

But I really think you love Rock better.

Rock on, Dude.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Night Before Good Friday

I sat on the beach of the man-made lake in Camsur Watersports Complex on the night before Good Friday- On a spot just across the first Pylon of the Wakeboard Cable Circuit. It is one of the Pylons I have yet to conquer. While staring at it and watching the other Wakeboarders easily slide and glide over the pylon and then hit the water again in perfect form, I was at peace: With myself, with my failures and with my small victories made under God's Grace.

It was a beautiful night...



Turn yourself away,
from the garish light of day
Turn your thoughts away
from cold, unfeeling light...
and listen to
the music of the night

TK: Tagkawayan, Quezon




Dear Kids,

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Sage the Kneeboarder


DAD: Sage, pag dumaan si Angel Locsin sa harap natin, you don't have to call me Dad. Call me "Kuya", OK?

SAGE: Sure, FATTY DADDY.


Dear Sage, when hot chicks in their tiny teeny bikinis saw me holding a Barbie Body Board while this picture was being taken, I could almost read their minds saying "Nah, he's too UGLY to be gay." Anyway you were the youngest kneeboarder today at CWC (CamSur Watersports Complex). You made it to the 3rd post just before getting wiped out in the turn. You have yet to make the full circuit your own. But that's a goal for another day. Sabi ng ni Mylie Cyrus...



Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb (yeah)



It's all about
It's all about
The climb

Keep the faith
Keep your faith


I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!


and btw, riding a kneeboard is way more exciting than what our friend from abs-cbn news did today (shot pictures of old, boring churches and its equally staid occupants somewhere in TAGAYtay.)

batobato sa langit....





TIKI HUT #4

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Wicked History


Dear Sage, Yesterday (April 2) we went to your school to get your grades. They are all OUTSTANDING. So your wish came true. You are graduating with Honors again. 3rd time in as many years you've spent in Grade School. Congratulations! The credit ofcourse goes to your Mom and my in-laws who tutor you without ceasing. My only contribution is that OUTSTANDING grade Ms. Steigerwald gave you for being punctual (I drove you and Kay and Ate Janine to school every morning)

There was a bookfair in the waiting area of Miriam College Grade School. I told you as a gift you can choose any book and you chose to buy a big book titled THE WICKED HISTORY OF THE WORLD.

Tonight you told me that you have already read most of it.

It is indeed a Wicked read. I understand why you couldn't put it down because lately, I've been addicted to the Wicked History of England during the Reign of the Tudors as presented in HBO (ofcourse it helps that the actress playing Anne Boleyn is somebody like Natalie Dormer.)

As you have read in the Preface of the book, what we have learned from history is that we never learned from History. May your generation be different-- Especially when you become the UN Secretary General someday, or the Ambassador to the Court of Saint James.

I'll post an entry about Sabine's Graduation. She Graduated with Honors too like last year. This is her only second year of schooling.

Buti nalang mana kayo kay Sexy.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

ISABEL

Hang in there. Surround yourself with Family and Friends and Faith. If you don't have any faith, Trust me, God, Family and Friends have faith in you.

Letters to my kids about their childhood adventures



To Sage, Sabe, Sade & 3Stan

To Sage, Sabe, Sade & 3Stan
WELCOME!