Monday, September 14, 2009

2013



The Great Seer predicted that the world will end on December 31, 11:59PM in the year 2012. Every body believed her when she made this prediction back in 2009 which was more or less 3 years before the world ended. After all, she correctly predicted that Kris Aquino will become the President of the Philippines. She accurately predicted that Korina Sanchez will seek annulment of her wedding to former senator roxas so that she can marry Willie Revillame instead. When she predicted that Usama Bin Laden was hiding as a second courser nursing student in one of the colleges of the Philippines, which lead to his eventual capture, the US government gave her the Presidential Medal of Freedom. And when she saved the world from economic meltdown, the dow jones industrial average climbed to 20,000 points in just 30 minutes. And she was immediately given two Nobel Prizes: 1st in Economics and the second, for PEACE.
The Great Seer was so heartbroken when she made the prediction of the world ending in 2012. According to her closest confidante, she was last seen entering the convent in Mt. Zion where Nun Novices take a lifetime vow of silence.
And so the whole world was left with no choice but to wait for its coming end which everybody thought was irreversible.
The Great Seer was NEVER WRONG in her predictions before.
And so, on the last day of the year 2012, the countdown for the end started… Everybody was resigned to their common fate. They have been shedding tears for years and months now, when December 31 came, there were no more tears left for anyone in the world to shed.…
By 11:30 PM… every body in the world came out of their houses to look at the night sky for the last time.
11:45 PM… there was complete silence.
11:50 PM…
11:55 PM…
11:58 PM… Everyone held their breath, their last breath before everybody dies.
10 seconds...
5…
4…
3…
2…
1…
11:59 came and went. BUT EVERY ONE WAS STILL ALIVE!!!
On 12:04 AM, January 1, 2013, everybody realized that for the first time, THE GREAT SEER HAD BEEN WRONG in her prediction. The whole world was shaken by ecstatic shouts of joy by the living who couldn’t contain their emotions for surviving the predicted end..
By 12:20 AM, Radio, TV and the Internet came alive again, mocking the once infallible seer for the prediction that didn’t come true.

And so Everybody was drinking champagne, or red horse beer, or GSM blue, or Fit n Right and were all laughing their hearts out, celebrating being alive when the END of the world came on

12:29 AM, January 1,

2013

It was as if God just snapped his fingers and the whole Earth suddenly vaporized, leaving nothing but cosmic dust in its place in the space between Venus and Mars.
The great was indeed wrong for the first and last time.

The prediction was 30 minutes TOO EARLY.


(The Great Seer spent her High School days at the prestigious Our Lady of Lourdes Academy, TagKawayan or TK, where students were taught the value of punctuality. They wear time pieces adjusted to be 30 minutes earlier than real time. That’s why even though their classes start at 7:30AM, they were expected to be in their classrooms by 7:00AM. In making the prediction for the end, The Great forgot to make the proper adjustment, hence the prediction was inaccurate because it was TOO PUNCTUAL.)



(Author's Note: the story is just an adaptation of one of the short stories in this book of Isaac Asimov et al. My apologies to those who thought it was an original. Please call off your plans to campaign for my inclusion in next year's national artists awards. Please lang po. Allergic ako kay Carlo Caparas. )

Sunday, September 06, 2009

Miriam/Maryknoll College Alumni Homecoming Mass (Sept. 5, 2009)







Sage sang at the Alumni Homecoming Mass yesterday at the MC Chapel. Days before that, when I learned that she'll be singing with the Jr. Glee club I asked if I could watch them. She rolled her eyes in exasperation and said, " Dad, it's a MASS, yo."

Interpretation: "ofcourse you can come and you don't have to ask, you moron."

Sage, You were lustily applauded by those inside the chapel after the mass. We're so proud of you.

Letters to my kids about their childhood adventures



To Sage, Sabe, Sade & 3Stan

To Sage, Sabe, Sade & 3Stan
WELCOME!