Monday, September 14, 2009

2013



The Great Seer predicted that the world will end on December 31, 11:59PM in the year 2012. Every body believed her when she made this prediction back in 2009 which was more or less 3 years before the world ended. After all, she correctly predicted that Kris Aquino will become the President of the Philippines. She accurately predicted that Korina Sanchez will seek annulment of her wedding to former senator roxas so that she can marry Willie Revillame instead. When she predicted that Usama Bin Laden was hiding as a second courser nursing student in one of the colleges of the Philippines, which lead to his eventual capture, the US government gave her the Presidential Medal of Freedom. And when she saved the world from economic meltdown, the dow jones industrial average climbed to 20,000 points in just 30 minutes. And she was immediately given two Nobel Prizes: 1st in Economics and the second, for PEACE.
The Great Seer was so heartbroken when she made the prediction of the world ending in 2012. According to her closest confidante, she was last seen entering the convent in Mt. Zion where Nun Novices take a lifetime vow of silence.
And so the whole world was left with no choice but to wait for its coming end which everybody thought was irreversible.
The Great Seer was NEVER WRONG in her predictions before.
And so, on the last day of the year 2012, the countdown for the end started… Everybody was resigned to their common fate. They have been shedding tears for years and months now, when December 31 came, there were no more tears left for anyone in the world to shed.…
By 11:30 PM… every body in the world came out of their houses to look at the night sky for the last time.
11:45 PM… there was complete silence.
11:50 PM…
11:55 PM…
11:58 PM… Everyone held their breath, their last breath before everybody dies.
10 seconds...
5…
4…
3…
2…
1…
11:59 came and went. BUT EVERY ONE WAS STILL ALIVE!!!
On 12:04 AM, January 1, 2013, everybody realized that for the first time, THE GREAT SEER HAD BEEN WRONG in her prediction. The whole world was shaken by ecstatic shouts of joy by the living who couldn’t contain their emotions for surviving the predicted end..
By 12:20 AM, Radio, TV and the Internet came alive again, mocking the once infallible seer for the prediction that didn’t come true.

And so Everybody was drinking champagne, or red horse beer, or GSM blue, or Fit n Right and were all laughing their hearts out, celebrating being alive when the END of the world came on

12:29 AM, January 1,

2013

It was as if God just snapped his fingers and the whole Earth suddenly vaporized, leaving nothing but cosmic dust in its place in the space between Venus and Mars.
The great was indeed wrong for the first and last time.

The prediction was 30 minutes TOO EARLY.


(The Great Seer spent her High School days at the prestigious Our Lady of Lourdes Academy, TagKawayan or TK, where students were taught the value of punctuality. They wear time pieces adjusted to be 30 minutes earlier than real time. That’s why even though their classes start at 7:30AM, they were expected to be in their classrooms by 7:00AM. In making the prediction for the end, The Great forgot to make the proper adjustment, hence the prediction was inaccurate because it was TOO PUNCTUAL.)



(Author's Note: the story is just an adaptation of one of the short stories in this book of Isaac Asimov et al. My apologies to those who thought it was an original. Please call off your plans to campaign for my inclusion in next year's national artists awards. Please lang po. Allergic ako kay Carlo Caparas. )

8 comments:

atticus said...

pare, ano ang ininom mo nang sulatin mo ito?

tsk. mag-submit ka na sa palanca next year. kasi sa susunod na year ako magsa-submit. para siguradong di mo ako tatalunin.

TK said...

chill, dude. This piece won't qualify bec. it's just an adaptation of a story I read before in an asimov book which I'm still trying to look for. ang title ata ay '100 great fantasy stories' hanapin ko next week para mabasa mo yung original.

beatburn said...

read the asimov's story before.

your piece can still pass as original.

kasi andun si Kris Aquino. man, she's original. :p

sinong mahilig uminom ng gsm blue?

how did your kids like the story?

TK said...

Hey Prof! I think Sage has yet to read the story. hanggang rootbeer lang ako kaya I prefer Yin's lipstick red over GSM blue. Kris is not an original. She's a mutation.

and lastly... You read Asimov? Cool!

tin-tin said...

galing mo din mag-predict ha. bali-balita ngayon na tatakbo as vp si willie revillame

TK said...

sabi nga ni Sage sa ganyang klaseng news... O-M-G!

prinsesamusang said...

ito ba ay result ng insomnia? LOL that seems like an interesting book. mahanap nga LOL

TK said...

PM, Your Highness, san ka CI? Tandaan mo picture nung nasa post na ito. Tapos... paki toxic nalang ha.

Letters to my kids about their childhood adventures



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